Seattle/Ohio.

Whilst writing this I am taking the train by myself. The train ride into town is as bumpy as usual. Boring, yet exhilarating. I didn't like going around the waterfront, I was pretty much terrified of it. Especially during high tide with water on both sides of the train. But that is only because I highly dislike water. The green, murky water would not only pull me under, but taunt me as I struggle. The result of putting water and I together is death. I have had too many experiences where I get pulled under. The salty taste on my lips has ever lasted.

As I approach town I am underground. I get off the train, grumpy from my ride because it took so long. And because I was alone. Getting back on the surface I noticed the sun had taken refuge from this world and was hiding behind some clouds. I guess even the sun cannot always be happy. Just like many of us. I wasn't meeting up with anybody today. I just wanted to walk around, perhaps go read a book at the library or have a cup of coffee on the veranda.

I stand on the corner of a square. And as the funny green man appears I cross the road in disappointment. If only the light to cross was red for longer, so that I could spend more time around people. Businessman, businesswoman, teenagers, parents, children. Anyone would be fine.

"What movie are we watching?" came a voice from behind me.

I dared not to turn.

"I don't know. We will see when we get there."

A movie sounded ideal. Going into the cinema I saw numerous movies playing. There was the one that was "awesome" as quoted or that one that was "nothing I had expected, but at least I got to spend time with my friends". I turned to leave. I didn't have enough money anyway.

Going to the library was uphill. As I got to the top I remembered that there was a cafe right next to the library. I went in and sat on a couch. Moments later a guy comes up to me and asks me what I wanted. I should have said company but I asked for a Coke with a lemon. Have you tried it? Amazing.

As I sipped from a tall glass, it started to rain. I feel like I'm a narrator commenting on my own life. How boring.

Last time it rained in town I was with four friends. Yes, you count them. Four. It was an epic day. I got to meet two people. Which is what I like, although it's like a fear.

Perhaps, this could be about something else rather than my day alone. When was the last time you had an argument with someone? When I have arguments with my parents, the finishing statement is always "Because I care for and want the best for you."

Bullshit.

Yeah, there you go. The first time I have sworn on my blogs. If you knew what was the best for me I might as well be an inanimate object. Why don't you just do all the thinking for me. All of it. Go on. You know you want to. Control freak.

Could it be less serious though, I mean honestly. For me an argument with a friend is more insane than one with a parent. I remember when I was fourteen. My friend got his first camera phone and was taking photos of everything. Even me. I told him to stop it. He didn't listen so I knocked his phone out of his hands and onto the floor. By accident. The back cover came off and the battery came out. He landed a firm punch right on my arm. Straight away I retaliated and we ended up having a full-on fist fight for half a minute.

Then we both stopped. Looked at each and didn't speak for the rest of the bus ride.

"Bye," he said as he got off the bus.

I waved. I had forgiven him. I knew something this small could not taint our friendship. It was strong. The next morning I saw him and we had forgiven each other.

So what about arguments with someone you are going out with, or someone you like? Isn't that just unbearable. I have had two. Yes. Count them. Two. The first time a girl cheated on me so I was trying to get her to explain why she did it. A couple of texts later I ended up saying "Well fuck you then, if this meant nothing to you I never loved you."

That was probably the harshest thing I have said to someone. Sorry. You know who you are. Emotions were wild. You think that is painful. It was, but. Moving on, last year during study break I had the most insane argument with someone. It didn't seem like an argument at first, it was just like a forum. You have a topic and you discuss it.

The wonder of this was that I managed to work out I was the one making the mistake. That night I crashed into tears. That's me. Eighteen. An adult. Soaking my pillow.

And to this day I haven't forgiven myself.