Jealousy/Care.

I must admit that I get jealous quite easily. But what brings about jealousy? Jealousy starts with a definite something. I know, that doesn't make any sense. This 'something' may be animate or inanimate. But somehow it triggers something inside you.

That seed of doubt you have deep within yourself. When it sprouts you know, you can feel it inside you. You know that feeling, when you think to yourself - damn. I wish I could spend more time with so-and-so or I wish I could go somewhere with so-and-so. You know what I mean.

So whoever reads this. Tell me, what makes you jealous? Who is the green-eyed monster you know? You see, I'm trying to find my place. But it might not be here where I feel safe.

Here's a real life scenario for you. I'm currently on holiday, taking time away from it all. But being my antisocial self, I tell my friends I don't want to hang out. I don't want to go see that movie in 3D. I don't want to go to some restaurant. I don't want to go to karaoke.

But deep down.

I love hanging out with my friends more than anything in the world. Growing up in the wrong environment has really gotten to me. Yes, this house falls apart everyday. I want to see Avatar in 3D. I don't care how nauseating it may be. I don't care if I choke on Popcorn (which I always do). I want to come to this restaurant. I want to have a meal with my friends before they all break off into the big bad world. I want to go to karaoke. I want to burst one of my lungs singing.

But what is wrong with me.

If I want to hang with my friends. Why don't I? It's not like my friends do drugs, smoke or drink. They are all good citizens in this small town we live in. There is just something inside me that triggers.

I would say, "I can't come."
A voice over the phone would be like, "Why not?"
"Because... because I have plans."

Yeah. And that plan is to sit in my room. Turn off all the lights. Make myself into a ball and flood my room with tears. I am the one that plants this seed of doubt in my own mind causing jealousy.

So, perhaps my statement in my first paragraph was completely wrong. Whatever triggers this green-eyed monster is only infuriated by yourself. By this lust within you.

Without this lust, no-one would be jealous.

And what a world we would live in. A utopia? Heck no, it would be a the complete opposite. I know for a fact that if there was no jealousy, you would not care. And being caring is important.

I care for you. You know who you are. And I know what triggered this. It wasn't jealousy. It was pure love. But sometimes you get that sudden strike of jealousy. And it's like, hang on a minute, I wish I was with so-and-so.

"I care for you."

Seriously, when was the last time ANYONE said this to you. If was right in front of you right now. Whoever you are. And I looked in your eyes. Said - "I care for you."

How would you feel?

I know how I would feel. Magical.

"I care for you Autumn, I love y-"

Oops, I think I just got a little off-topic there. But if someone said that to me I think I would probably melt inside. So no matter the season. Summer. Autumn. Winter. Spring. Walk up to someone you know. Maybe if you're daring, walk up to someone you don't know on the street and say "I care for you. No matter what happens."

Concluding (fancy words now), if this might seems ridiculous to you, leave me a comment if you think I'm wrong. But, I think without jealousy there would be no care. And without care we would not be where we are today. Hence, without someone exhibiting jealousy we would not be happy. But let's ignore this.

Tell this to the next person you see - "I care for you."

And watch their eyes light up.

Spread a little love.